Back in the swing of things

My last blog post, just after the holidays, complained about not being happy to be back in Berlin, of a general malaise and weariness with the struggles of life abroad. I debated about publishing that post, because it seemed so negative, but I decided to post it anyway because I don’t like to buy into the “everything is great, look how great my life is” mentality that people are tempted to portray these days on social media. I try to be authentic; don’t ask me how I’m doing unless you want to hear the bad along with the good! But I didn’t expect the outpouring of support I got from my online friend community after I posted. I was really encouraged by so many messages of support, and heartened by so many people who could relate to my feelings, not only my ex-pat friends here in Berlin but also people who live in the US but have had similar experiences, or who have loved ones who have had similar experiences. Thanks to those of you who reached out.

In retrospect, I discovered that those 10 days of school vacation at home in Berlin after returning from the US were a major source of stress for me. I had imagined that that time would be spent doing family activities: baking cookies, playing in possible snow, snuggling up with popcorn to watch movies; or that it would be spent with long, blissful, responsibility-free days for me to write or take up long-forgotten projects. The reality was, of course, different. Far from having copious amounts of free time, I found myself working 14-hour days. With the kids home all the time, there was always a meal to prepare followed by a kitchen to clean, a sibling fight to break up, a punishment to dole out, a load of laundry that needed to be put in the washer or moved to the dryer or folded or put away, a mess that needed to be cleaned up or that required me to ask again and again and again for the mess creator to clean it up him or herself. In between all that, church and property and other responsibilities had piled up during my time away and I found myself struggling to find the time to catch up. With the state of the house deteriorating because of two omnipresent children and one very sheddy dog, it seemed that my work was never done, and I got to do exactly nothing that I had hoped for during that week. I was so, so happy when the kids went back to school. 

Now, a month later, life is pretty much back to normal. Once school started I had a couple of relatively calm weeks during which I was able to make a lot of progress on my deadlines hanging over me. At the same time, the fun stuff started back up - the interesting things that make my life here special.

It started off with the monthly general meeting of the American Women’s Club, where our guest speaker was Soraya Sarhaddi Nelson, an award-winning journalist, now the international correspondent for NPR Berlin. If you listen to NPR, you will hear her stories occasionally. She was a fascinating speaker. Born in America, the daughter of a German immigrant mother and an Iranian immigrant father, she speaks German, English, Farsi and Dari. She talked a mile a minute about her experiences covering stories in Egypt, Iraq, Afghanistan and Iran. As you may imagine, she has had some harrowing close calls involving the less than democratic governments of those countries, including once having escaped a warrant for her execution in Iran. Despite her high-action life, she was very down to earth and gave honest answers to our questions: how do you balance career with your family? Are you depressed by the news? How is Donald Trump affecting the international news coverage? She spoke to us at around 11 a.m. on a Friday in January, having already been that same morning to Poland and back, covering the US deployment of tanks and soldiers to that area.

A packed house listens to the piano on the ground floor stage

The following week I met a few people at the Berlin Philharmonie, where every Tuesday there are free lunchtime concerts. I have always wanted to attend one of these but have never gotten around to it until now. The concerts are held in the huge lobby area, where they set up a stage and people gather around on the floor, stairwells, and any available space to camp out and listen. On this particular day there was a piano on the stage, and we were treated to a four-hand piano show. It lasted about 40 minutes and was really nice. If I lived closer to the area, it would be a fun thing to do on a regular basis.

This is so Berlin. On this typical flat grey-skied day on my way to the Philharmonie I walked through this. Is it a park? Is it a vacant lot? It's some kind of art exhibit in an extremely unattractive space. 

The holes in the rim of the plate are
painstakingly cut out one by one with a blade

Also with the AWC there have been two interesting tours. A few weeks ago we went to the KPM factory, Koenigliche Porzellan Manufaktur, the Royal Porcelain Manufactory. There we learned how porcelain is made, fired, molded, glazed, etc. KPM has provided tableware as well as decorative porcelain to the royal families throughout much of the history of this region of the world. We got to see lots of examples of porcelain designs through the ages. There was a real treat at the end of the tour, when we watched two artists hand-painting porcelain items in their studio. Every piece is hand painted, and there is fierce competition when a job as a KPM artist becomes available. During the tour I had thought it might be fun to buy a piece of KPM porcelain for my European souvenir collection, but I quickly changed my mind when I saw the pricetags! Our guide told us that you can often find pieces of KPM porcelain from different time periods in flea markets around Berlin, so I think it would be fun to do some looking.

A cup attached to its saucer so it doesn't spill and make a mess

A dramatization of what happens to mistakes:
only the best pieces are completed and sold;
mistakes are destroyed 

An artist at work painting flowers on a plate

This artist is tracing an embossed edge with what looks
like black ink, but when the plate is in the oven the
black will turn to gold

The dining room set for a dinner

The museum space was very artsy and had lots of alcoves with porcelain-themed
displays. This one was entitled "Princess and the Pea".

The other tour we did was to Schloss Bellevue, the palace of the German president. I will confess that I didn’t know much (anything?) about the German president prior to the tour, but we admitted our ignorance to the tour guide and she gave us a primer on German government. The Germans had a bad experience, to put it mildly, with putting too much power in one person’s hands, so now their government has a division of power. Here’s a summary, as I understood it. The chancellor, currently Angela Merkel, is the head of government, belongs to a political party, and controls the executive functions of the government. The president is supposed to be apolitical; he has no executive role, but does maintain veto power on legislation. He is a figurehead, a bit like the queen of England. He attends to diplomatic relations and entertains heads of state. So Schloss Bellevue is where diplomats, prime ministers, presidents, etc. are received.

Our guide walked us through the logistics of a state visit. She told us that every move is scripted and that there are pages and pages of protocol spelling out exactly where people will stand, where photos will be taken, what time the guests will move to which room, etc. She said that she sometimes likes to watch state visits in other countries on TV and watch the background for aids scurrying back and forth, which is a sure sign that something has gone askew from the painstaking preparation.

Visiting delegations are greeted in front of the
Schloss and welcomed on the front steps

Once inside, all visitors sit here to sign the
guest book. For an official state visit there
would be flowers, flags, etc. decorating
the space.

The president poses for pictures and talks
casually with the guests here in the
presidential study, always with an
interpreter present.

Military presentations are done in the garden behind the palace. It's a pretty
and peaceful space that manages to conjure up the old days of the Tiergarten.

Bellevue is a living, functioning building, not
a museum. So it's pretty plain on the inside, and
has not all been redone in "original" style. This
area of the palace was deliberately left in 1950's
styling.

This is the grandest room in the palace, the only room that has
been decorated in close to original style and has a
palatial feel to it. This is where formal ceremonies happen,
including the official acceptance of ambassadors. 

State dinners happen here in the ballroom

Here we are posing in front of the enormous artwork. I am front row, second from left.

My longing for American eggnog surprisingly struck a chord with several people. One friend from church was inspired to turn it into the theme of a church women’s event! I agreed to host it, so last weekend several of us got together at my house and tasted several different homemade eggnog recipes. Sadly, none of them resembled my beloved store-bought Darigold eggnog in the slightest, but it was still a fun time and I enjoyed tasting the different types. There were both non-alcoholic and alcoholic varieties, and one friend even made “egg-not”, with no eggs! 

My Auntie team with Anita

The last thing I want to talk about is Anita, my new friend from Afghanistan. Before the holidays I signed up for a new initiative within the AWC called “Auntie Teams”. A few of us are placed together in a group and assigned an asylum-seeker who is expecting a baby. Our job is to be the “aunties”: to provide friendship and companionship to the pregnant women, and to help them adjust a little to life in Berlin, even as they navigate the extreme challenges of becoming a parent in a land that is not your own, when you have fled your country and left everything behind. 

My asylum seeker is Anita, a 26 year old from Herat on the western side of Afghanistan. She fled about a year ago with her husband and her at the time 2-year-old daughter, Sarina (now 3). Anita speaks only Dari, so communication is a challenge! Through an interpreter I have learned a little about their journey from Afghanistan. The three of them walked from Herat all the way across Iran into Turkey. The journey took them about a month! From southern Turkey they piled onto one of those terrible overcrowded boats and began a journey by sea to the Greek islands. They were picked up at some point by the Greek coast guard and officially joined the pool of asylum seekers. Sent to Germany along with some of Anita's other family members, they lived in a refugee shelter for about 10 months and are now among the lucky ones who have a temporary apartment -still in a group home for refugees, but with real walls and their own bathroom. Hasan, Anita's husband, goes to intensive German courses 3 days a week. He is a tailor but can't work until their asylum request is granted. So the three of them wait - for the baby, for an answer to their asylum request, for some certainty.

An enormous platter of rice, meatballs in yummy sauce,
casserole dishes filled with falling-off-the-bone chicken

I have accompanied Anita to a couple of her doctor's appointments. It's exciting to see the baby (a boy) on ultrasound and hear his heartbeat. He is due in early April. A couple of weekends ago Anita and Hasan invited us and our families to lunch at their apartment. They made mountains of food, and it was so delicious! The interpreter from the aid organization came as well so we were able to talk a little. They are such a nice family; I hope we can help them find an apartment and get settled here in Berlin.

Time for dessert! Two kinds of homemade pastries plus platters of
enormous shiny fruit. Anita, Hasan and Sarina on the right.